DR: The Midnight Oil

He was awake, but he wished it was all a dream.

Back in the simulation, just as things were ending, he'd hoped that the others would like him, treat him as a friend, something. But luck was never on Kazuichi Souda's side. It was always against him.

He had woken up to people in shock, but it wasn't pleasant shock. Hinata and Sonia, his precious jewel Sonia, had already awakened. They looked so different, radically different. Hinata's eyes were red, red like the blood they'd all spilled, but otherwise he was still the same Hajime Hinata he called a friend. Sonia's hair had grown so long, it would've reminded him of Rapunzel in brighter circumstances but not here, and her arms and legs were covered in scars. Once he could look in the mirror he'd see that he looked different too, his hair black once more and no longer in that crazy style he once thought made him look cool and scars over his own body as well, but that didn't matter to him right now.

He smiled to his friends, the friends he thought would be so happy to see him alright, and tried to brush off the stress with an icebreaker as he desperately tried to ignore the memories of despair. But both of them just glanced away and said "Welcome back, Souda". He didn't think much of it, it was a stressful time for everyone and things were still trying to return to a sense of normalcy. Everything would be fine later.

But then the others woke up.

Akane was first. The three of them waited by her pod and were ready to greet her back into reality. The pod opened and she looked skinny, far too skinny for Souda's liking, she looked like she was sick. She took a moment but then smiled like nothing was wrong, just like he had, and Hinata and Sonia were relieved. It took him by surprise but again he shrugged it off, things were getting better he told himself. But then he tried to show his relief and Akane looked at him funny and asked who he was.

She didn't even remember his name.

He tried to laugh it off, Akane was bad with names after all and he looked different to boot, and told her it's me, Souda! She seemed to realize it and laughed as well but deep down Souda was hurt. He thought even with this new look she'd recognize the boy who helped her get through Nidai's death.

Then Kuzuryuu woke up. His eye was ruined, it couldn't have been a coincidence the same eye had been slashed in the simulation, but he still acted like the yakuza he once knew. The others were so happy, and he tried to ignore that they cared more about a gang leader than him. Souda smiled again, saying it's good he's back and all that jazz.

Kuzuryuu just stared at him.

It wasn't like Akane who didn't know what he did was wrong, it was clearly deliberate. Kuzuryuu wanted nothing to do with him. He tried to ignore that too, but some tears may have spilled from his eyes later that night in his room. He tried to keep hope though, hope that with time they'd all be friends again, even better than they were in the program because everyone would like him.

But hope could only go so far.

The days passed and the others didn't change. Hinata seemed out of it, too focused on other things like their classmates. Souda didn't blame him though, he was worried about the others too after all. Bringing them back was of top importance. Akane kept forgetting who he was though. Having to constantly say "Owari, I'm Souda, remember?" started to take it's toll on him. Kuzuryuu made it obvious he wanted nothing to do with him, he wouldn't even say hello to him when they ran into each other. And Sonia, the apple of his eye, she wanted nothing to do with him.

He didn't blame her. He probably wouldn't want anything to do with himself if he was her. But it still left a sinking pit in his stomach when his friends wouldn't want to talk to him.

He don't know when it happened, but he found bottles of alcohol in the kitchen one night when he couldn't sleep and decided to make something to eat. He started taking them and headed to the room where the others students slept. No one was ever there at night unless an emergency happened, so he figured it was the best place to go where he could drink his problems away. He sometimes fell asleep there when he drank too much, but other times he'd go back to bed once he felt tired.

Tonight wasn't one of those nights.

He was sitting there, leaning up against a desk and drinking some wine he didn't know the name of. He hated the taste, but it was all that he had. He didn't care if he was drinking too much, nothing really mattered to him in that moment. His friends hated him and he was here drinking with comatose people as his only company. What else could possibly go wrong with his life?

"Souda-san! What are you doing here?!"

He spoke too soon.

He looked to the side and saw Sonia standing there looking down at him. Her hair was no longer long, quite short actually as it was a perky bob-like cut. If he wasn't drunk and lost in his own pity, he'd compliment how nice it looked, but that combined with the angry look on her face kept him from doing so. He looked away from her, too ashamed to face her. "Why do you care?" he asked.

"Have you been waiting here for me?" Sonia asked, ignoring his question. "Is that why you were not at breakfast?"

Breakfast? "Huh? What're ya talkin' about?" Souda asked. "What time is it?"

"How do you not know what time it is?" Sonia asked. "I told no one I was going to be here at this time, so you had to know beforehand!"

"Sonia-san, please, listen I-" Souda tried to speak.

"To think that I thought better of you, but I can see that you are willing to stalk me!" Sonia continued, ignoring his words.

"No, I swear I had no idea you'd be here!" Souda said, speaking louder to make sure she'd listen. "I've been here all night long!"

"How do you expect me to believe you?" Sonia asked. "What could you possibly be doing here all night long if not waiting for me?"

At that point, something inside the mechanic just snapped. "Well why do you even care?!" he shouted. "Maybe it's because I feel more welcome around people in comas since my so called friends don't care about me!" He tried to stand up, but in his drunken stupor he stumbled and knocked the wine bottle to the side. Shit, that's just what he needed. He waited for Sonia to lash out at him further, but no sound came. He sat up and noticed she now held the wine he had just knocked over. Her frown had changed from one of anger to that of worry.

"Souda-san, how long have you been drinking this?" she asked.

"...I dunno." he said. "I've just been drinking whatever I could find. I come here every night to drink and be alone."

"Is that why you have been late at breakfast recently?" Sonia asked.

"I guess so." Souda answered.

There was a moment of silence as Sonia sat beside him. "So you truly didn't know I was coming here." she said.

"Fuck no. I didn't even know it was morning." Souda said.

Sonia sighed, unable to look at him in the face. "I am truly sorry for accusing you like that." she said.

"Don't be, I don't blame you." Souda said, shocking the princess. "If I were you I'd think the same. Since you hate me and all."

"Hate?" Sonia said with a mixture of shock and confusion. "I will admit, my opinion of you is not the highest but I would not go so far as to say I hate you."

Souda just began to laugh. "I appreciate you tryin' ta make me feel better but don't bother." he said. "I already know you can't stand me, and neither can anyone else."

"Souda-san, please, I may not know how well your bond with the others is, but they do not hate you!" Sonia said, concern in her voice.

"That's a lie and you know it." Souda said. "Think about it. Kuzuryuu avoids me at every chance he gets, Owari can't remember who I am, and Hinata my so-called best friend is always too busy to talk for even a moment! You all hate me."

"Souda-san, you are mistaken. The alcohol is affecting your judgement." Sonia said.

"The alcohol ain't doing shit!" he said. "Even back before we all fell to despair, no one liked me! Not a single person! I didn't have any friends just like I did before I came to the stupid academy! The only difference being that I didn't get beat up all the time! That's why that Enoshima chick had me wrapped around her finger, because she said she liked me, because she gave a damn! But that was a lie too! I've never had any real friends, I don't know how to make friends, and I never will have friends because I'm that person everyone hates!" He probably said too much at that moment but he didn't care. He was tired of holding it in. He was sick of being lied to.

"I...I had no idea you had been through that..." Sonia said, finding it hard to speak.

"And when I thought we'd all be friends when we woke up, I was wrong. Everyone's waiting for their real friends to wake up from their stupid comas." Souda said, taking the bottle for another swig.

Sonia stopped him and took the bottle away. "Souda-san, that is not true."

"Stop lying, Sonia-san." Souda said, looking away from her. "You obviously came here because you want Tanaka to wake up. Just like everyone else. Owari's waiting for Nidai, Kuzuryuu's waiting for Pekoyama, shit even Hinata's got hopes that Nanami can come back somehow. And who do I have? Nobody. No one else was close to being my friend. I don't have anyone to hope will wake up. I'm alone and always will be!"

There was silence for a long while. Souda wasn't even looking at the princess. He was about to stand up to leave when Sonia finally broke the silence.

"I do not think Tanaka-san will be happy to see me once he wakes up."

Souda blinked in surprise. "What's gotcha sayin' that?" he asked.

Sonia let out a sigh before smiling sadly. "I had committed certain...acts...before we lost our memories that he would prevent him from having any relationship with me." she explained. "Even then, I did not treat him the way I should have back in the program." Her head hung low as she took a deep breath. "I was only spending time with him because I was trying to get away from you. It was wrong of me to use him like that, and I would not blame him if he wanted nothing to do with me once he wakes up."

"So that's why ya were so emotional over losin' him?" Souda asked, not surprised by her answer. "Heh, I guess that explains why you were so close to him all of a sudden. Not that I blame ya though, I was an ass. I mean, fuck, you're so beautiful, Sonia-san. And you're a fuckin' princess! I saw ya an' jus', I dunno, wanted to treat ya the way I thought princesses were s'pposed ta be treated. I was just a lowly commoner after all, no matter what I saw myself as lower than ya. I'm not rich, or that special. I'm just a loser who got beaten by his alcoholic father." He looked down at the wine bottle and laughed. "Guess that runs in the genes or somethin'. I've become the thing I never wanted to, my old man. Hell, the only reason I act the way I do is 'cause I thought that's how ya get people to like you. It's how the guys who beat me up would act. If they could get everyone ta like them that way, then why didn't it work for me?"

"Souda-san..." Sonia said, she sounded like she wanted to say something but didn't continue.

"If ya got somethin' ta say, just say it." Souda said.

"It appears...I had greatly misjudged you..." she said. "I had assumed you were nothing more than a pervert. I did not know you before the events inside that program, so all I had to go off of was those experiences. But hearing all that you've told me just now, I feel horrible for treating you the way I have."

"Don't apologize." Souda interrupted. "I'm a creep an' I know it. I may not be as bad as Hanamura, but I'm still bad."

"No, we are both at fault here." Sonia said. "I have treated both you and Tanaka-san horribly without any regards to how either of you felt. And I must apologize for that whether you accept it or not."

"I ain't gonna stop you then."  Souda said.

"Souda-san, is it possible that we could...start over?"

Souda stared at the princess in shock, she merely tried to smile at him. "What's that s'ppose ta mean?" he asked.

"It means that I wish to try again." Sonia explained. "I do not mean we must get in a romantic relationship, but I wish to set things right. And if that means starting over, then that is what I must do!"

Souda couldn't speak, no words came to him. All he could do was sit there as tears began to stream down his face. He wiped them away and laughed. "Shit, I'm actually crying about this? Goddamn, Kazuichi, pull yourself together!" He couldn't help it though. All he had wanted was for Sonia to like him, not necessarily the same way he did, but he never thought it would actually happen. Especially not from him getting drunk and spilling out his life story.

Sonia stood up and held her arm out to him. "I assume you'll need some help standing up." she explained. "Come, you still need to eat and that wine is known for leaving one with horrible hangovers."

Soda smiled back at her as he took her hand and stood up. "Thanks, Sonia-san." he said. The two of them walked out, or stumbled in Souda's case. Sonia grabbed his waist to help him walk properly as the hangover started to kick in.

His head may have hurt like hell, but at that moment Kazuichi Souda was happier than he had ever felt in his whole life. Maybe things would get better after all.